Posted by: happy4life | January 9, 2008

Quest For Fulfillment




Have you ever wanted something so badly that you couldn’t think of any thing else? May be a car, a boat, a trip around the world, or winning the Nobel prize? Anything you do for the least amount of time seems a deviation from you goal. Even pleasurable activities become burdensome, providing a temporary hiatus in order to forget…only to sober up to the realization that you are still desperate for what you really want, fulfillment, achievement; satisfaction!





Every hour, every waking minute you walk through each day like an automaton, while inside you yearn. It is useless trying to explain this passion for achievement to any one who doesn’t take it seriously. I don’t even bother to try anymore. The irony is that my goal is so simple…perhaps its very simplicity is a complication in itself. If it was something evil, or wrong that I wanted, I could understand, but it’s not, it’s just different from the norm.



And so I go on my lone way and I can tell no one about my goal except God. God understands. He knows; He won’t tell me that someone with my potential will make a great this, or a good that. He won’t try to make me into something He never meant me to be. He won’t constantly tell me I need to settle down and get married as if that was the answer to all of my problems.



When I say, ‘There is one thing I’d really like to do’, or ’There is one thing I really want’. God, unlike mankind, will not come back with, ‘Are you sure that is what God wants? Why do people say that? Better yet, why do people do that? Just because they never arrived to that promise in the Bible where it says, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart doesn’t mean others should not go forth and attain.



Is God a being who constantly denies you things you want just because you want it? No, He is not. There was a time I used to believe this as others do. I was so despondent. I discovered the truth now. That is why I fight alone.



I have had more distractions during my period of discovery than any other time in my life. I never knew fighting for one worth while goal could be so hard! It wouldn’t be such a strain if there weren’t so many people constantly trying to force things on me I don’t need, give me things I didn’t ask for because it is what they would like or, worse yet, try to map out my life on their terms. And if I should refuse, or demur? I am branded as selfish. May be no one ever noticed, but that is selfishness!



I am an individual. What is one man’s palace is another man’s pigsty and vice versa.



Do you know what El Shaddai means? It means, if I (God) don’t have it I will create it for you. That has been the hope which has carried me for the past several months. It is hard to believe for something you never heard of, but have imagined, dreamed about and wished for. I pray it happens soon!



There are many things I am willing to do for the Love of God and for the sake of my fellow man. If I had the power in my hands to provide people with what they need…no…want, and the strength to fight alongside them to help them accomplish their goals, I would do it; have done it: through God will continue to do it! I have to believe God will do the same for me.


I am very near the end of my goal know and it is still as God said; I am the only person who really knows what I want. He will be my provider. So for those out there who are willing, let’s pray that God blesses us with the faith to finish our quest and obtain the desires of our heart!  



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: